Father Figures: Men Standing in The Gap

With tomorrow being Father's Day I was inspired to write a poem for all the men out there who stand in the gap. There are so many men (stepfathers, uncle's, coaches and teachers) who provide support and consistency, and most importantly love, to a child whose own biological father, for whatever reason, is not playing an active role in their child's life.

When men choose to mentor to children who are not their own, they are making an investment in the future. It is proven that children who have the benefit of a positive male influence in their early childhood, or who have been parented by both a mother and a father, have a better chance for success.

In June of 2011 the Huffington Post reported that "Nearly One in Three American Children Live Without a Father". The article goes on to say that the number of children living apart from their father has doubled in the last 50 years, with 11% reported in 1960 and 27% in 2010.

In my lifetime I have encountered only a few of the type of men I choose to celebrate in the poem below. Although the words were written for a special man in my life, the poem is dedicated to men everywhere who know the importance of mentoring to a child, and who are strong enough and man enough to consistently be a positive influence in the life of a fatherless child.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Sometimes a man stands in the gap,

And helps to raise a child that’s not his own.

Sometimes a man will help a woman,

When she’s raising a child alone.

Sometimes a man will lend a hand,

And nourishes a seed he did not plant.

Sometimes a man, has to raise his voice or hand,

To discipline an unruly child, in an instant.

There are so many men, who every now and then,

Decide to fulfill the role as father.

And it makes me so mad, to see the real dads,

Who hardly care, and don’t even bother.

So, this card is for you, the tried and true,

Who always help a child in need.

It takes a real man, who does what he can,

And that makes him a real Father indeed.
Copyright 2012 © Lady Lavender all rights reserved.

Happy 62nd Birthday, Mr. WONDER-ful

On May 13, 1950 in Saginaw, Michigan, Stevland Hardaway Judkins was the third of six children born to Calvin Judkins and Lula Mae Hardaway. Due to the complications associated with being born six weeks prematurely, he was declared permanently blind just after birth.

When Stevland was four years old, his parents separated and his mother moved herself and the children to Detroit, Michigan. His mother legally changed Stevie's last name from Judkins to Morris, the surname of her relatives. He continues to use the name "Stevland Morris" to this day.

Young Stevie was so full of natural, God-given talent that he not only sang in the choir at Whitestone Baptist Church, but he also played several instruments; including, among others, the piano, keyboards, harmonica, and drums, all by the age of 10.

In 1961 Ronnie White of The Miracles introduced the young boy to Motown, and it wasn't long thereafter, at the age of 11, that "Little Stevie Wonder" would begin his career-long, sometimes rocky, relationship with the label and its CEO, Berry Gordy. 

He was given the stage name "Stevie Wonder" by Clarence Paul, a writer for Motown and one of the young singer's mentors, who is quoted as saying "We can't keep calling him the Eighth Wonder of The World".

His first single, released on the Tamla label (a sub-label of Motown) in 1961 was titled, "I Call it Pretty Music, But The Old People Call it The Blues".

He would release two more singles ("Little Water Boy" and Contract on Love") and his first two studio albums (The Jazz Soul of Little Stevie and Tribute to Uncle Ray) all before his smash hit single "Fingertips" was officially released in 1963, launching him onto the national music scene.

While on tour with Motown's Motortown Revue in June of 1962, Little Stevie Wonder performed "Fingertips" live at the Regal Theater in Chicago, Illinois. Featuring a young Marvin Gaye on drums, the track which reached the #1 slot on Billboard's Top 100 list.

Over the next few years the "Man-Child Wonder" wrote several songs for Motown, including the smash hit "Tears of a Clown", performed by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles. He continued to perform and write for the label but also worked on other, Non-Motown, projects.

In 1964 Stevie Wonder played himself in the movie Muscle Beach Party, where he sang the song "Happy Street". He was also featured in the sequel Bikini Beach, where he performed the song "Happy Feelin' (Dance and Shout)".

In his early teens he was told by school administrators that he would have to give up music until he turned 19 because it was becoming difficult to keep up with his studies and he did not have access to a tutor while on tour.

"I went into the bathroom and cried and prayed that God would allow me to remain in the industry, but I just knew it was impossible. One of my teachers told me that I had three strikes against me that must be considered. I was poor, black and blind."

~ Stevie Wonder

His prayers did not go unanswered, and at the age of 18, Stevie Wonder graduated from the Michigan School for The Blind, with Honors, as a very successful and talented musician with a bright future ahead of him.

Stevie Wonder was breaking and setting records throughout his early career, in both his music and personal life.

In 1969 he met with then President Richard Nixon at the White House and was presented with the Distinguished Service Award from the Committee on Employment of Handicapped People.

His two-year marriage to former Motown secretary and songwriter, Syreeta Wright, in September 1970 may not have lasted long, but the two remained close friends and worked on several projects together before she passed away on July 6, 2004 at the age of 58.

As newlyweds, they co-wrote the songs for Stevie's 1971 album Where I'm Coming From, they worked together on Stevie's album Music of My Mind and her self-titled album, Syreeta, both in 1972. He also produced and co-wrote her album titled Stevie Wonder Presents: Syreeta in 1974.

In May of 1971 Stevie had a lot going on, to say the least. He was turning 21; he was a newlywed; the money that he had earned as a child, that had been held in trust by a state-appointed guardian, was about to be turned over to him; and his contract with Motown was about to expire.

It's sad to note here that even though Stevie Wonder had earned Motown over thirty million dollars ($30,000,000), at the age of 21, when he received the money from his trust, it was a mere one million dollars ($1,000,000).

This fact is part of what fueled the disagreement Stevie now had with the label. But it wasn't just about the money, although that was, I am sure, a major part. What Stevie wanted was more creative control over his music and the rights to the songs he wrote.

So, in May of 1971 Stevie Wonder would let his contract with Motown expire. During the time he was away from the label he would write material for other artists, including the Spinners, in order to showcase and highlight his talents and to strengthen his position in the ongoing contract negotiations.

Eventually giving in to Stevie's demands the 120-page, seven-year contract with Motown would give him full creative control over his music, and the rights to the songs he wrote. He received $13,000,000 and increased royalty revenues.

A deal this sweet was unheard of, especially for a Motown artist. It is thought to be the largest amount paid to an artist in music industry history at that time.

In 1972 Stevie released his next two albums, Music of My Mind and Talking Book, and he went on tour with the Rolling Stones.

He recorded Innervisions in 1973 and it was released in August, just three days before he would be involved in a collision that almost killed him, and left him in a coma.

"I'm so glad that he let me try it again, 'cause my last time on earth I lived a whole lot of sin, I'm so glad that I know more than I knew then, Gonna keep on tryin', 'till I reach my Highest Ground"
~ Stevie Wonder, lyrics from
"Higher Ground"

The song was written just a couple of months before the accident and Stevie is quoted as saying, "For me, I wrote Higher Ground even before the accident. But something must have been telling me that something was going to happen to make me aware of a lot of things and to get myself together. This is like my second chance for life, to do something or to do more, and to value the fact that I am alive."

Stevie bounced right back after the accident. He was stronger and more passionate than ever about his music. In 1973 he won his first Grammy for his song "Superstition". To date he has received a total of twenty-three Grammy Awards, including the Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award.

After releasing Songs in The Key of Life in 1976, the ever-talented and creative musician didn't release any new material for awhile. With nothing new being delivered to the label, Motown put out a compilation of previous hits titled Looking Back.

His next studio album, Hotter Than July, would be his first platinum-selling album.

In 1980 Stevie Wonder became dedicated to the movement to have the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. declared a national holiday. He worked closely with the King family and often performed at benefit concerts to raise money for the cause.

In 1983 when the bill passed declaring Dr. King's birthday a national holiday, Stevie said this, "Somewhere, Dr. King is smiling, not because his birthday is a holiday, but because he too is convinced that we are moving in the right direction. I know that this day is a day for all Americans to celebrate love, peace and unity. It is not a cure all, but it is a healing aid".

Music is also a healing aid, and when you love it as much as Stevie does, what do you do? You create a record label and buy a radio station. His label, Wondirection, incorporated in September of 1981 and is currently located in Burbank, California. He purchased KJLH, a Los Angeles based radio station in 1983. The call letters "KJLH" have long been known to stand for Kindness, Joy, Love and Happiness.

In 1985 the talented Mr. Wonder received the Academy Award Oscar for his song "I Just Called to Say I Love You", from his 1983 movie soundtrack Lady in Red. 

During his acceptance speech he dedicated the award to the then imprisoned South African leader Nelson Mandela. Stevie Wonder's music was banned from all of South Africa shortly after the Oscars.

His humanitarian efforts continued and in 1985 he was one of forty-seven artists to record the song "We Are The World" under the band name USA For Africa, whose mission and purpose is to raise money to fight famine and disease in Africa.

He also participated in demonstrations against apartheid in 1985 and was arrested outside of the South African Embassy for disturbing the peace.

"They said I was disturbing the peace. I was just singing."
~ Stevie Wonder

Stevie celebrated his 35th birthday by performing before the United Nations. He was being recognized by them for his work against apartheid and discrimination.

In addition to many other charitable endeavors here in the US, the ever-giving soul has, since 1995, held the annual charity concert House Full of Toys. The event has grown over the years and many organizations and individuals now also help to raise money to purchase gifts for underprivileged children.

Stevie Wonder has a total of seven children of his own. His first daughter, Aisha Zakia (African for strength and intelligence), was born to he and Yolanda Simmons on February 2, 1975. Aisha is the inspiration for the song "Isn't She Lovely". Stevie and Yolanda gave birth to their son Keita Sawandi in April of 1977.

He also has two sons with his current wife, fashion designer Kai Milla Morris, whom he married in 2001. Kailand Morris and Mandla Kadjay Carl Stevland Morris born May 13, 2005, on Stevie's 55th birthday.

2007 would see the launch of A Wonder Summer's Night, a thirteen concert tour, his first in over ten years and inspired by the recent passing of his mother.


Lula Mae Hardaway passed away on May 31, 2006 in Los Angeles, California, where she had moved in 1975 from Detroit. She is credited with co-writing several songs with her son during his teen years, including "Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours", for which she was nominated for the 1970 Grammy award for Best R&B Song.

Stevie Wonder's genius spanning over four decades continues, his musical creativity continues, he continues to be a humble humanitarian, and he simply continues to love us all, "always".

"Just as hate knows love's the cure, you can rest your mind assured, that I'll be loving you always"
~ Stevie Wonder, lyrics from
"As"

One day I hope to meet the talented Mr. Wonder. I want to tell him that his music has inspired me, comforted me, made me laugh, and made me cry. I have grown up living my entire life through his music and his lyrics. His sound is like no other in my ear, and I want to share with him that I am thankful to my God, to have known such a talent in my lifetime.

Harmony Found in Harmonies: I Love Music!

For as long as I can remember MUSIC has played a major part in the story of my life.

From my earliest memories of Lee singing softly to comfort herself, the words of "Sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray", musical beats and lyrical words have occupied a special place in my heart.

And to this day, MUSIC continues to reside deep inside of me in a very, very special place. How else can I explain the constant melodies playing in my head, and the avalanche of lyrics that come to mind when I engage in everyday conversations.

I'm the go-to girl in my family when it comes to MUSIC. Wanna know who sings a certain song? Need the lyrics? I usually have them, stored in my mental musical library.

I don't have a favorite genre or favorite band, or even a favorite song. To choose only one would be impossible for me. There are way too many. 

My love of rhythm and blues comes from my mother, who listened to a lot of MUSIC when we were growing up, but who was never as passionate about it as I am. She mostly played her MUSIC at parties or to clean house on Saturdays.

I love country tunes because when I lived in Hawaii and attended school there, I was exposed to Gordon Lightfoot, Kenny Rogers, Dolly Parton, Crystal Gayle, and many other popular country artists of 70's and early 80's. I also discovered the Beatles while in Hawaii, and have loved them ever since.

I love rock and roll because when I was younger I used to scan the radio for all kinds of different MUSIC, and found a lot of local rock and soft rock stations. I would just skip from station to station looking for any song I knew the words to, or had heard before. 

I found the songs I liked were playing all over the dial. And, it was also in the 80's when cable television stations like MTV and VH1 were popular and brand new to the teens in my generation.

I love jazz and the blues. I like classical and even some opera. I love gospel, and have "Auntie Opal" to thank for my appreciation of gospel classics like "Day by Day", "I'm a Soldier in The Army of The Lord", and "In the Garden".

These songs ring out in my head from time to time, like an overflowing well, and memories of Auntie Opal, and her kindness, and strictness, run deep.

And, of course, I love hip hop, the official MUSIC of my generation. 

 

Let's just say I love MUSIC, Any kind of MUSIC, just as long as its groovin!

 

The O'Jays ~ I Love Music

Soul Train Performance

When I was born, circa 1970, MUSIC was much different than it is today. Back then we listened to 8-track tapes and vinyl records.

In the 70's, artists like Earth Wind and Fire, Frankie Beverly and Maze, and Stevie Wonder, made "good music" because they enjoyed the feeling they got from performing and sharing their creations with others.

Earth, Wind & Fire ~ Sing a Song
Live in Concert ~ 1981

God-given talent like that cannot be contained, and it brings the artist tremendous joy to create such musical masterpieces and to be able to share them with others.

Stevie Wonder ~ Sir Duke 

"Music is a world within itself, with a language we all understand." ~ Stevie Wonder
 

It was during this time that I started to phase out my use of 8-track tapes and moved toward the "cassette tape". The cassette was more compact and you could record on both sides. I loved it.

The late 70's and early 80's saw the death of disco and the birth of hip hop. I fell in love with the rhymes of Kurtis Blow, the Sugar Hill Gang, and Grand Master Flash and The Furious Five.

 Kurtis Blow ~ The Breaks
Soul Train Performance

My step-father always had the latest records at the house, so I was lucky enough to have access to a turn table and no less than one hundred albums at my disposal.

I would sit down and listen to an album over and over again until I had remembered all the lyrics. I loved it when the album would include the lyrics, either on the record sleeve or, if lucky enough, the album would fold open and the lyrics would be right there, in living color. 

During this time I also acquired the taste for Teena Marie, Rick James, Smokey Robinson and the Miracles, Marvin Gaye, The Dramatics, etc.

Soul Train became my weekly fix for seeing my favorite songs being performed. I remember  when I was younger, and not liking when an artist would perform a song live. They would sing the song slightly different from how it had been released on the album, and to me it just didn't sound right.

It would take me years to get over this. I guess I would have preferred them to just get up there and lip sync to the album, so I could sing along.

Now, I can appreciate a live performance, something I found after attending concerts and live band sessions. The live performance, although slightly different from the album, was and is, always better.

The 90's would bring the end of the vinyl album and the cassette for me, being replaced with a new desire for the compact disc. No more broken needles on the turn table and no more rewinding or fast forwarding tapes. Now we could just "skip" to the track we wanted to hear.

The decade would also deliver what I call market saturation and exploitation of "good music". Overnight it seemed as if everybody and they grand-momma (yeah I said it) was "putting out" their CD. Come on now. Seriously?

Part of what fuels this is that we have artists who are not really all that talented, but they are marketable, or they have a certain connection in the industry, paying for the success of their career (one way or another), or whatever the case may be. The point is, they don't have natural talent, and yet, they are selling records and being played in high rotation on local radio stations.

So now the average Joe is thinking if Such and Such can make a record, he ought to be able to make one, too.

Listening enjoyment aside, MUSIC also helps me to overcome anger or frustration. I  simply put on a song and change my mood. Its no surprise that MUSIC is often being used in therapy for patients with brain trauma and other health afflictions. It helps patients to lower their blood pressure, and is even being used to assist stroke patients with regaining their speech.

The Healing Power of Music

MUSIC  is used to honor loved ones, to express love, anger, sadness, and hope. It is used to commemorate historical and significant events.

MUSIC  has been around for centuries and it is probably unclear as to its true origin. This makes perfect sense to me. God's nature, the birds singing, the oceans roaring, the wind humming, they all have been harmonizing together since the beginning of time, and that alone is the beginning, period.

MUSIC breaks down language and continental barriers. Consider Michael Jackson, whose talent is appreciated throughout this world, on every continent, and whose MUSIC was and is translated and released in several different languages. 

"I am always writing a potpourri of music. I want to give the world escapism through the wonder of great music and to reach the masses" ~ Michael Jackson

The force of energy called MUSIC , is a mighty force indeed. My love for this art form is just an outward expression of my inner self. If I have trouble communicating how I feel, I can usually find a song that can say exactly what I want to say. To this day there are songs that can make me laugh, or make me cry, or take me back to a time and place when things were different, and they help me to appreciate my present and keep me hopeful for the future.

Today I wish you MUSIC . I hope you have or will find the MUSIC of your heart, the "sounds" that soothes your soul and find peace among the melodies.